Herbal Essence Hello Hydration 2 in 1

S & G's note: This is guest post from our friend Y. Y is a young man who lives and writes in LA. He is of Asian decent and speaks from the perspective of an obtuse male.


How much older is the average groom than the average bride? If you answered 5.3 years, you are either a freakin' genius or a user of Herbal Essence Hello Hydration 2 in 1 moisturising shampoo and conditioner. This is my third bottle of this in the past three years and the trivia on the back of the shampoo bottle is still the same. You would think they would be able to come up with new trivia every few weeks but the people at Procter and Gamble seem quite content to enthrall us with that one bit of trivia over and over like a Bolero melody.

You may be asking why a straight guy is 1) using Herbal Essence shampoo and 2) visiting The Gloss Box. Okay, I don't have a good excuse for the latter. As far as the former goes, it was on sale at a local supermarket. And if you know one thing about guys, it's that they are lazy. I don't have time to shampoo AND condition my hair. That's like asking me to put detergent and fabric softener while I do laundry. Besides, who has time to do both when one has to figure out the average age difference between a male and a female in matrimony. By the way, I feel that this shampoo is subconsciously trying to enforce the traditional view of marriage. So don't expect this bottle to fly off the shelf in Iowa, Vermont, Massachusetts, and New York if you get my drift.

The bottle smells a little fruity. It has a fusion of orchid and coconut milk. I don't really know what that means. But it's good to know that coconut milk goes into shampoo and Thai curry. And I love Thai food! So let's talk about the product itself. Does it work? I don't have moanings and writhings in the shower like they do in the commercials but my hair does smell nicer afterwards. I was told by Miss Shivanity that I am supposed to talk a bit more about the marriage between this shampoo and my hair. First, my hair felt soft and smooth like the legs of Gisele Bundchen yet I still felt rugged and masculine like Tom Brady (their age gap: 2.9 years). Second, my follicle is of the Asian variety which means that it can do calculus and superstring theory. I can walk out into the real world with the confidence of knowing that my hair smells like a combination of kimchee, flowers, and tropical fruit. And since I'm Asian, it also means that I have no chest hair. But if I did have chest hair, I would probably use Herbal Essence 2in1 shampoo to lather up the torso than my Axe bodywash (which DOES NOT attract women the way they promise in commercials).

Most importantly, when the shampoo is on sale for half price at the local supermarket, I buy it. I think I paid $2.99 for it. Regular price was $5.79 or something. While I may not be the best arbiter of taste, I do know a good deal when I see one. And in these economic times, isn't it more important to have sound financial acumen than perfect hair?

BodySlam!!! (as opposed to kisses and hugs!)
Y.