Creme de La Mer. A Mother of Cream.

Well. I am sure some of you have heard this brou-ha-ha over Creme de la Mer Moisturizing Cream-- I certainly had. "It works!", "it's a gimmick", "it was bought over in 1996 by Estee Lauder and since then it has never been the same", " it was a sea kelp miracle invented by a burn victim and it healed him", "JLO puts it all over her body which is why she doesn't look a day over 31".

Wait! If JLO (who I know hates being called that, but I am sort of stuck in the late 90s, pop- culturally speaking)-- she of the beauty which is so creamy and cool and nude-y-- rubs this all over her bodacious bod, I had to see what all the fuss is about.

So began my foray into exploring the mystery behind Creme de la Mer. I was convinced, like I usually am about $130 for 1oz face creams-- that they are a farce. A ploy to get Asian women who still think Louis Vuitton is actually a luxury brand to buy the $1395 tubs of this stuff, because they CAN, and convince them that their perfect Asian complexions, which weren't going to crack anyway, are kept that way because they are using this cream.

However- I finally got some of this cream for myself. I am a skeptic and I think Oil of Olay is a perfectly wonderful face cream. I was instructed at the Neiman's counter about how to use this Creme de la Mer omg-it's-so-wonderful cream. I needed to emulsify it between my palms and then sort of dab it in to my skin to start seeing and feeling results. Got that? Rub until clear, and then pat pat pat into your skin.

It's been a week, and there has been a change in my skin's 'smooth' factor. Something is different-- something is creamier. I will never be like JLO-- but something is right about the way my skin is handling itself. Having packed on a few pounds over the holidays (I am way past my "Hey Baby" weight-- you know-- the perfect weight where you get hit on like all the time and all of a sudden your jeans from when you were totally off carbs look good and you and homeless AND trannies comment on you). Anyway I am waaaaay past that point, but yet somehow, I have been getting a lot of compliments. From the baggage handler to the taxi guy to the TSA security peeps-- and it's definitely not because my hips look like I could easily slip out a set of quints when I sneeze. TRUST. I think it might be the cream, and the way it makes my skin look younger.

Anyway, the bottom line is there is some truth to the hype in my experience. I don't know if the 'miracle broth' that they tout so heavily is really anything more than vaseline in an expensive jar. I am not a scientist, I am just a simple cavewoman consumer. But the point is, I don't know if I can live without this cream. I am shamefully addicted... I need my next fix.

I believe.


  1. How do you afford to purchase so many beauty products? Please advise.

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    The product Gods have blessed me. I have been using and trying products since time immemorial (1990).

    I wouldn't advise doing anything untoward for money. However, beauty is another matter. I have good relationships with my cosmetics representatives at beauty counters in various cities (San Francisco, New York and Los Angeles) who give me samples of their new products as and when they become available. I always advise to ask for samples of products, especially at the actual boutiques of brands (if you notice, I review a lot of products by Fresh, Clarins and Kiehls, because they believe in giving samples of their products out to potential buyers.)
    I don't believe in waste, so I always advise to try before you buy.

    I also wait for special promotional times at stores like Neiman Marcus' and Saks' bi-annual beauty events. There, with the purchase of something I will need on a daily basis, such as a mascara, I also receive a giant 'beauty bag' filled with products. They are usually deluxe samples, so they will last me at least 2 weeks. This is enough time to know if a product will or will not work. We will let you know when these beauty events happen, so even if you don't live near one of the stores, if it's time for you to replace that mascara, might as well buy it from there and get a goodie bag to go with it.

    G and I are also members of certain organizations which give out promotional samples to people in the beauty biz.

    PS- If you read the bottom of our homepage, we started this blog BECAUSE we had and have used SOOOO many products.

    I am going to post your question on our homepage so other readers can also take advantage of scoring some free stuff to try out.

  3. Thanks so much for your reply!


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